TIME IS OFF MY SIDE

REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE ALL FUCKED UP? NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW BAD IT FEELS WHEN YOU PHYSICALLY HURT SOMEONE WHO IS NOT FUCKED UP WHEN YOU ARE, AND MAYBE YOU'RE PICKING THEM UP, OR MAYBE YOU ARE PUNCHING THEM IN THE SHOULDER (OR FACE), BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE DOING YOU HURT THEM AND THEY'RE SOBER AND YOU'RE WASTED? ISN'T THAT SUCH AN EMBARRASSING FEELING? I HAVEN'T DONE THIS TOO RECENTLY BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT "WORST THINGS" LATELY AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW BAD THAT FEELS. IT'S NOT SO HORRIBLE THE NEXT DAY OR EVEN A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER, BUT RIGHT WHEN YOU PICK UP YOUR SOBER FRIEND AND DROP THEM ON THEIR BACK IT FEELS PRETTY BAD TO REALIZE THEY (MIGHT HAVE ) JUST GOT OUT OF WORK, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I'M SITTING AT A COFFEE PLACE, TRYING TO SOBER UP. SINCE WHEN HAVE I BEEN SO DRUNK? I FEEL LIKE THIS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. IN ANY CASE I WENT TO SOME SUSHI PLACE AND ATE ONE TUNA AND ONE PICKLED RADISH ROLL AND TRIED TO HOLD IT TOGETHER IN SPITE OF MYSELF, AND I'M CONVINCED I DID A SHITTY JOB BECAUSE THE SUSHI ROLLING GUYS WERE STARING AND ME AND EVERY TIME I LOOKED AT THEM THEY LAUGHED. MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS PRACTICALLY FACE-DOWN IN THE NEW YORK TIMES' THURSDAY CROSSWORD, BUT PROBABLY, ACTUALLY IT WAS BECAUSE EVERY MOVEMENT I MADE WAS RETARDED AND/OR THEATRICAL. I ORDERED A VEGETABLE TEMPURA TO GO, I HAVEN'T EVEN LOOKED AT IT YET; INSTEAD I'M LISTENING TO RECORDINGS I'VE MADE AND SMOKING HALVES OF CIGARETTES, BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO TAKE MYSELF SERIOUSLY WHEN I'M NOT HALF IN THE LEGENDARY BAG, AND FURTHERMORE IT'S HARD TO PAY ATTENTION TO A CIG IN A TRAY WHEN I'M LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AT SOME MOVIE THEY'RE FILMING ON THIS STREET (IT STARS CHRIS PARNELL, I GUESS).

I'M PLAYING A SHOW AT THE UPPERMOST HEIDELBERG THE 13 OF THIS MONTH, THAT'S THIS THURSDAY. T-BONE (TIM) IS PLAYING AND THE RIPPERS ARE ALSO PLAYING. HOPEFULLY I WILL HAVE NEW BUMMERS TO PLAY FOR WHOEVER COMES. MAYBE YOU WILL?

I GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCHED "SO SAD":