Sunday, August 9, 2009

TIME IS OFF MY SIDE

REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE ALL FUCKED UP? NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW BAD IT FEELS WHEN YOU PHYSICALLY HURT SOMEONE WHO IS NOT FUCKED UP WHEN YOU ARE, AND MAYBE YOU'RE PICKING THEM UP, OR MAYBE YOU ARE PUNCHING THEM IN THE SHOULDER (OR FACE), BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE DOING YOU HURT THEM AND THEY'RE SOBER AND YOU'RE WASTED? ISN'T THAT SUCH AN EMBARRASSING FEELING? I HAVEN'T DONE THIS TOO RECENTLY BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT "WORST THINGS" LATELY AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW BAD THAT FEELS. IT'S NOT SO HORRIBLE THE NEXT DAY OR EVEN A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER, BUT RIGHT WHEN YOU PICK UP YOUR SOBER FRIEND AND DROP THEM ON THEIR BACK IT FEELS PRETTY BAD TO REALIZE THEY (MIGHT HAVE ) JUST GOT OUT OF WORK, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I'M SITTING AT A COFFEE PLACE, TRYING TO SOBER UP. SINCE WHEN HAVE I BEEN SO DRUNK? I FEEL LIKE THIS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. IN ANY CASE I WENT TO SOME SUSHI PLACE AND ATE ONE TUNA AND ONE PICKLED RADISH ROLL AND TRIED TO HOLD IT TOGETHER IN SPITE OF MYSELF, AND I'M CONVINCED I DID A SHITTY JOB BECAUSE THE SUSHI ROLLING GUYS WERE STARING AND ME AND EVERY TIME I LOOKED AT THEM THEY LAUGHED. MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS PRACTICALLY FACE-DOWN IN THE NEW YORK TIMES' THURSDAY CROSSWORD, BUT PROBABLY, ACTUALLY IT WAS BECAUSE EVERY MOVEMENT I MADE WAS RETARDED AND/OR THEATRICAL. I ORDERED A VEGETABLE TEMPURA TO GO, I HAVEN'T EVEN LOOKED AT IT YET; INSTEAD I'M LISTENING TO RECORDINGS I'VE MADE AND SMOKING HALVES OF CIGARETTES, BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO TAKE MYSELF SERIOUSLY WHEN I'M NOT HALF IN THE LEGENDARY BAG, AND FURTHERMORE IT'S HARD TO PAY ATTENTION TO A CIG IN A TRAY WHEN I'M LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AT SOME MOVIE THEY'RE FILMING ON THIS STREET (IT STARS CHRIS PARNELL, I GUESS).

I'M PLAYING A SHOW AT THE UPPERMOST HEIDELBERG THE 13 OF THIS MONTH, THAT'S THIS THURSDAY. T-BONE (TIM) IS PLAYING AND THE RIPPERS ARE ALSO PLAYING. HOPEFULLY I WILL HAVE NEW BUMMERS TO PLAY FOR WHOEVER COMES. MAYBE YOU WILL?

I GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCHED "SO SAD":

OK

I WAS A YOUNG GIRL BEFORE I LOVED HIM
I'M ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE
WHO LET THE DEVIL DRAW LINES BETWEEN US?
I'M ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE
OH HOW THE NIGHT WAS SO BLACK THEN
BUT I SAW HIS FACE GHOSTLY WHITE
I WAS A YOUNG GIRL UNTIL I KNEW
I WAS ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE
I WAS A-WALKING DOWN BY THE RIVER
WITH TEARS IN MY EYES
HE SAID HE LOVED ME AND I REPLIED:
I AM ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE
OH HOW MY LOVE WAS SO TRUE THEN
WHEN HE WAS ONLY MINE
WON'T LET THE DEVIL DRAW LINES BETWEEN US
I'M ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE

DARK

I WAS LYING DOWN BY
ALL WIDE EYES
ALL BLACK ALL WHITE
ALL OF MY LIFE
ALL YOU
ALL YOU HAVE
ALL YOU HAVE OR YOU WANT
I COULD GIVE YOU THOUGHT, AND WINK
ALL YOU
AW, YOU COULD
OH YOU COULD BE THE DRUGS
I SAY I LOVE
I SAY I LOVE
THE EARTH
I'M FROM
YOU ARE YOU ARE YOU ARE YOU ARE
ALL BAD VERBS
AND I'M YOUR GIRL
YOU SAY YOU HATE

BLAH BLAH B LAH BL AH LHAB BALAH HHHLLAAABBBBLAH

TO YOU ALONE
YOU MISS YOUR HOME
TRIED TO GO BACK THERE
GET WHAT YOU OWN

ROCK ON THE BOTTOM
DIRT ON THE TOP
EARTHS ARE REDUNDANT
BRAINS WILL JUST ROT

WROTE YOU A LETTER
PAID FOR THE STAMP
I DIDN'T SEND IT
TIL YOU GOT BACK

I HEARD THAT EYES
ARE FOR THE WISE
AND SLEEP'S FOR THE DEAD